Support

In the ever changing world of housing and residence life at a college/university it's very important to play a supportive role in your significant other's life.  While it's obvious that that a relationship needs support, but sometimes your support will have to change moment to moment.

When I talk about change, there are all kinds of change that may happen an depending on what kind of change it is your support will change as well.  Sometimes you will know of a change ahead of time and you will have time to figure out what the change means to your significant other, to you and to your family.  Those kinds of changes are the easiest to support because you have time and can really discuss what is going on and come up with a plan of action if one is needed.  Knowing you can be prepared for when the change happens is always the best thing, and you can figure out what kind of support to give very easily.

Not all changes will come with a long warning.  Sometimes changes will be told with a little time to make the adjustment.  Hopefully you and your significant other still have time to discuss what changing might be happening in their jobs and how it will effect them, you and your family.

Then of course there are changes that happen with little to no notice at all.  These are the hardest changes to lend support to.  Your significant other may not have a choice or a say in the change that has just occurred and you will just have to roll with whatever has been decided.  You as the significant other may not understand what just happened, and honestly sometimes the person in the field may be just as confused.  If you don't understand what is about to happen it's really hard to give any good words of encouragement or any possible advice.

When your find yourself at odds with how to support something, you always have to remember this is your significant others career and that most of the time they probably have no say in what happens at the office.  You always need to let them know that you love them and that no matter what happens you will be there to encourage them, help them through the issues(if it's not something good).  You may not like what is going on in their job but it's not for you to complain about because honestly there is nothing you can do about it.  Chances are there is nothing your significant other can do about it.  You can express your opinions on it but remember that you cannot change situations that happen.

Personally, I support my husband in everything that involves his career.  Sometimes it's hard for me to be supportive, especially if it's something that will keep him away from his family.  I just have to understand that what he does is good for his career and will help him advance in the field.  Are there times I want to tell him to skip doing something because I crave time with him and I know the girls miss him?  Yes of course, but I would never make him chose between something that will help him develop more for his job and him family.  After being with him for seven and a half years I know there are some battles I will lose.    We have been blindsided by changes before and it's hard to swallow sometimes, but the best I can do is tell Casey that I love him and that as long as he is happy I will support any decision he makes, whether that has been to start job hunting, take on extra responsibility, or stick out the changes and see what will happen from there.

When it came time to move to North Dakota, I wasn't the happiest of campers.  I knew the climate and knew I wouldn't do well in the sub zero winters.  I also knew that the job he would be taking was a great career advancement and that he might not get an opportunity like this again.  Even though the winters are long and hard with kids I am very happy with our choice to move out here.  Now that we are out here, he has excelled in his job and now has an opportunity to advance even more.  I support his choice to try this new opportunity and will be there every step of the way.

Always make sure your significant other knows you love and support them 100%.  Even if the only support you can give is a hug and a smile, the smallest support goes a long way.