As I sit here listening to my youngest snoring over the baby monitor I realize how much I hate those words added to job descriptions. They kind of sneak it in on the last line of the job description. Honestly it makes you think that it means only when on duty, and then once in a blue moon. Well depending on what the rest of your job description is there is a lot more night and weekend work then just duty and random ones here and there.
Night and weekend work effect every relationship differently. If you both work during the day, having evenings and weekends off, having Res Life take a night or a weekend away from your time as a couple can be difficult. It definitely makes you have to carefully plan date nights, weekends away and any recreational activities you would possibly be engaging in. If your significant other advises a student group usually their meetings are one a week night only because that's usually the only time students can meet when it doesn't interfere with classes. If you are a hall director all your staff meetings, hall government meetings, programs and other like functions happen in the evening for the same reason, you want to have high attendance so you want to have all of those happening not during class hours.
If you are on duty nights and weekend work take on a whole new meaning. It means that phone will interrupt everything. Even those student programs you are organizing. I will not go into a rant about the duty phone. See previous post about duty phones for more thoughts on that subject.
If your significant other is an advisor or a campus wide student group like my husband it will take several nights and weekends away from you as a couple. Like our relationship childcare and my work schedule has to revolve around his schedule. I don't mind that because if I have to request time off it honestly saves us money. Even though I am not working and making money, we are also not spending money on a babysitter. Also with advising a campus wide organizations, weekend work comes around more often because they tend to do more programs and larger programs. Sometimes weekend work will span the course of several days. Sometimes it turns into days away from the house if you attend conferences. I will delve deeper into conferences in my next post because that is a whole subject on it's own.
The key to night and weekend work is to have something for yourself to do. There are shows that I like to watch but he doesn't, so I take nights he works as time to watch those shows, or movies he would rather not watch with me. For weekends it's me and the girls so it's pretty much about keeping them busy so the day passes quickly for all of us. With kids the nights and weekends can be difficult because the kids will question where daddy is want to know when he will be home and honestly the when he will be home part is always difficult to say. When kids are involved it's always best to keep them occupied so they don't notice the absence. Obviously it's great that they miss their father/mother, but it can wear on them so keeping them occupied so they don't notice is actually a good thing for them, as it keeps them moving and just gives them other things to think about.
So when you see some nights and weekends on the job description know that it is more often then you think or will anticipate, but it won't kill your relationship. Honestly sometimes, that time away will be good and just make the next time you see each other a good reunion. Don't get upset about a night here and a weekend there, it's all part of residence life and everyone experiences. Honestly you could be upset about that those night and weekends aren't extra pay. LOL. Take everything with a grain of salt and realize that everything your significant other does extra for his job can help his/her career in the long run when it comes to moving up in positions, getting to be able to collaborate on bigger projects and getting recognition. Show them some love and patients when it comes to their late hours and weekends at work.
