It's the most (insert your own adjective here) time of the year. Everyone in Housing and Residence Life flinches when you say just one word. AUGUST. Not only does it mean summer is coming to an end but it also means that colleges/universities around the country and preparing to welcome students back. It means that the days are longer(even though the sun is setting sooner and sooner). It means those 'also includes some weekends' statements in their job descriptions come to life. It also means for the significant other a lot less time with your partner.
There is hall director training that usually lasts at least two weeks, then of course there is RA training that lasts at least a week and then of course there is opening weekend. So basically it's crazy schedule followed by a little bit more of a crazy schedule then ending with the most insane weekend of the whole year. We as significant others have to understand that we may not see them as much, they may bring work home with them, they may come home late, they may even have to return to work after dinner. It's something that only happens once a year so cut them a little slack if when they get home late, maybe in a bad mood and will probably have to do work instead of spend time with you.
Just remind yourself that it's only a month and it is part of their job. They go through this every year. Just remember back to when you were in college and you moved to campus. If you lived on campus at all, everything that happened move in weekend, all the people, all your RAs and all the hall directors all got to where they were from the training that happened in August.
If you are like me training doesn't just happen in August. Casey coordinates the schedules so he is working on training practically year round. If your significant other does that you understand that training takes a lot more then a month. The planning involved in making the training that they go through is pretty massive. They don't do training for the fun of it. Realize that training is a way to teach the new people the ways of the university, it's also a way for the returning staff to learn up on new techniques get insight from others, find out any changes that may be occurring through out the year. Honestly it is actually a great way for the staff to bond as well. It's very important that the staff members get to know each other and feel comfortable with each other. Having a staff that knows each other and is comfortable with each other is very important to make the year go by smoothly. So training is the best time for that to happen. They do everything together during the month of August.
As much as you want August to be the last hurrah of summer, as much as you want to try and squeeze in one more weekend away, as much as you want to have one last cookout, one last bonfire it might not happen. It is a busy month and you just need to be patient and understand it's only a month out of the year and it only happens once a year. Be willing to listen if they come home and need to vent about something, because even though it's all planned out things don't always go as planned. Be willing to support their late nights, their trips back to work, their weekends at work.
I know this time of year has tested my strength and even at points tested my marriage. It's hard to not see my husband, it's hard on the kids not to see their dad, but we know that September is not to far away. What we usually do, if possible, is get out of the city during opening. You cannot get anywhere near campus to try and see anyone, you really can't go shopping.(so many college students picking up last minute things they may have forgotten). You really cannot even go out to eat, parents wanting to have one last night out with their kids, or wanting to eat before they hit the road. If you can, take opening weekend as a time for yourself. You will hardly see your better half and honestly it might do you some good after a long August to just recharge that way when September comes you are both ready for the new school year and ready to get back to 'normal' life. Well if there is anything 'normal' about housing and residence life.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Saw this so I will share it.
Someone on my Facebook shared this link and I wanted to share it on here. Anyone in res life will understand every single one.
http://paulgordonbrown.com/2014/08/07/residence-life-explained-in-emoji/
Will be posting about the 'wonderful' month of August in the next couple of days!
http://paulgordonbrown.com/2014/08/07/residence-life-explained-in-emoji/
Will be posting about the 'wonderful' month of August in the next couple of days!
Monday, July 21, 2014
Let them have it
Everyone has a thing. You know something that they love to do that helps them escape and just relax and get their minds off of things.
From my experience it's very important for people to have a thing. Especially in res life, sometimes they need to be able to step away and honestly at times it's hard for them because it can be a very demanding 24 hour a day job. So letting your significant other have something that is just something that they do themselves is a really good thing. This gives them a chance to step away from everything and be in their own world, doing something they love.
For my husband it's Golf. He loves to golf and he is good at it. He uses it as a stress relief. He uses it as exercise. He uses it as something fun to do with his friends. He uses it as a way to work through things that may be on his mind. He uses it as a way to bond with his kids. And I let him have it. I don't mind when he goes out in the morning to go golfing and it leaves me to take care of the kids. I don't mind that once a week he goes golfing after work leaving me to get the girls dinner and sometimes ready and off to bed. I let him have it because he does so much for his job and for his family he needs to have something.
I love that he has something that helps his escape the pressures of life. I love that he has something that he loves to do and is passionate about that is not his work or his family. I love that he has something that brings his friends together and that they can do together. I love that he has something that he can bond with his kids over. Alexis has gotten into golfing and Casey loves that about her and I know he hopes that Chloe falls in love with it as well. I love that his passion is something that he can share with his whole family. There are times when we go out on the course as a family. Casey and Alexis play golf and I push Chloe in the stroller. But most of the time I let him have it all to himself.
But just like you should encourage your significant other to have something and you should let them have it, you should have something yourself and they should let you have it. And I am not talking about your family or work but something that is just for you, that you can do without them. Something you can use as an escape from the pressures of life. Something you can use as a stress relief. Something you have that you are passionate about. For me it's photography. I love taking pictures and have turned it into a freelance business. I offer my service to anyone who is interested in having photos taken. I am by no means the worlds best, but I take good photos. I do not do it to make a ton of money. I do it so people can have those memories for the rest of their life. I do it as a way to escape the stresses of life. I love being able to take pictures for people. I love taking pictures in general and that's my thing and I am very grateful that Casey lets me have it as well.
So let them have it and they should let you have it as well. Have something you can do together. Also have something you can do just by yourself and something they can do just by themselves. They will thank you for it, you will thank them for it, you will thank yourself for it. Everyone needs something and let them have it.
From my experience it's very important for people to have a thing. Especially in res life, sometimes they need to be able to step away and honestly at times it's hard for them because it can be a very demanding 24 hour a day job. So letting your significant other have something that is just something that they do themselves is a really good thing. This gives them a chance to step away from everything and be in their own world, doing something they love.
For my husband it's Golf. He loves to golf and he is good at it. He uses it as a stress relief. He uses it as exercise. He uses it as something fun to do with his friends. He uses it as a way to work through things that may be on his mind. He uses it as a way to bond with his kids. And I let him have it. I don't mind when he goes out in the morning to go golfing and it leaves me to take care of the kids. I don't mind that once a week he goes golfing after work leaving me to get the girls dinner and sometimes ready and off to bed. I let him have it because he does so much for his job and for his family he needs to have something.
I love that he has something that helps his escape the pressures of life. I love that he has something that he loves to do and is passionate about that is not his work or his family. I love that he has something that brings his friends together and that they can do together. I love that he has something that he can bond with his kids over. Alexis has gotten into golfing and Casey loves that about her and I know he hopes that Chloe falls in love with it as well. I love that his passion is something that he can share with his whole family. There are times when we go out on the course as a family. Casey and Alexis play golf and I push Chloe in the stroller. But most of the time I let him have it all to himself.
But just like you should encourage your significant other to have something and you should let them have it, you should have something yourself and they should let you have it. And I am not talking about your family or work but something that is just for you, that you can do without them. Something you can use as an escape from the pressures of life. Something you can use as a stress relief. Something you have that you are passionate about. For me it's photography. I love taking pictures and have turned it into a freelance business. I offer my service to anyone who is interested in having photos taken. I am by no means the worlds best, but I take good photos. I do not do it to make a ton of money. I do it so people can have those memories for the rest of their life. I do it as a way to escape the stresses of life. I love being able to take pictures for people. I love taking pictures in general and that's my thing and I am very grateful that Casey lets me have it as well.
So let them have it and they should let you have it as well. Have something you can do together. Also have something you can do just by yourself and something they can do just by themselves. They will thank you for it, you will thank them for it, you will thank yourself for it. Everyone needs something and let them have it.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Very Accurate
So I saw this link pop up on my Facebook feed and of course read it and found it very accurate and had to share.
Now most of us have dealt with a number of these in one way or another, especially through the course of dating and married life. Unfortunately it's something you deal with(especially the one directly related to res life).
Found it funny and wanted to share. I will be posted again soon, just need to find the time.
http://danceswithdissonance.wordpress.com/2014/07/14/24-ways-you-know-you-are-dating-a-student-affairs-professional/
Had to edit in order for you to be able to click on the link.
Now most of us have dealt with a number of these in one way or another, especially through the course of dating and married life. Unfortunately it's something you deal with(especially the one directly related to res life).
Found it funny and wanted to share. I will be posted again soon, just need to find the time.
http://danceswithdissonance.wordpress.com/2014/07/14/24-ways-you-know-you-are-dating-a-student-affairs-professional/
Had to edit in order for you to be able to click on the link.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Support
In the ever changing world of housing and residence life at a college/university it's very important to play a supportive role in your significant other's life. While it's obvious that that a relationship needs support, but sometimes your support will have to change moment to moment.
When I talk about change, there are all kinds of change that may happen an depending on what kind of change it is your support will change as well. Sometimes you will know of a change ahead of time and you will have time to figure out what the change means to your significant other, to you and to your family. Those kinds of changes are the easiest to support because you have time and can really discuss what is going on and come up with a plan of action if one is needed. Knowing you can be prepared for when the change happens is always the best thing, and you can figure out what kind of support to give very easily.
Not all changes will come with a long warning. Sometimes changes will be told with a little time to make the adjustment. Hopefully you and your significant other still have time to discuss what changing might be happening in their jobs and how it will effect them, you and your family.
Then of course there are changes that happen with little to no notice at all. These are the hardest changes to lend support to. Your significant other may not have a choice or a say in the change that has just occurred and you will just have to roll with whatever has been decided. You as the significant other may not understand what just happened, and honestly sometimes the person in the field may be just as confused. If you don't understand what is about to happen it's really hard to give any good words of encouragement or any possible advice.
When your find yourself at odds with how to support something, you always have to remember this is your significant others career and that most of the time they probably have no say in what happens at the office. You always need to let them know that you love them and that no matter what happens you will be there to encourage them, help them through the issues(if it's not something good). You may not like what is going on in their job but it's not for you to complain about because honestly there is nothing you can do about it. Chances are there is nothing your significant other can do about it. You can express your opinions on it but remember that you cannot change situations that happen.
Personally, I support my husband in everything that involves his career. Sometimes it's hard for me to be supportive, especially if it's something that will keep him away from his family. I just have to understand that what he does is good for his career and will help him advance in the field. Are there times I want to tell him to skip doing something because I crave time with him and I know the girls miss him? Yes of course, but I would never make him chose between something that will help him develop more for his job and him family. After being with him for seven and a half years I know there are some battles I will lose. We have been blindsided by changes before and it's hard to swallow sometimes, but the best I can do is tell Casey that I love him and that as long as he is happy I will support any decision he makes, whether that has been to start job hunting, take on extra responsibility, or stick out the changes and see what will happen from there.
When it came time to move to North Dakota, I wasn't the happiest of campers. I knew the climate and knew I wouldn't do well in the sub zero winters. I also knew that the job he would be taking was a great career advancement and that he might not get an opportunity like this again. Even though the winters are long and hard with kids I am very happy with our choice to move out here. Now that we are out here, he has excelled in his job and now has an opportunity to advance even more. I support his choice to try this new opportunity and will be there every step of the way.
Always make sure your significant other knows you love and support them 100%. Even if the only support you can give is a hug and a smile, the smallest support goes a long way.
When I talk about change, there are all kinds of change that may happen an depending on what kind of change it is your support will change as well. Sometimes you will know of a change ahead of time and you will have time to figure out what the change means to your significant other, to you and to your family. Those kinds of changes are the easiest to support because you have time and can really discuss what is going on and come up with a plan of action if one is needed. Knowing you can be prepared for when the change happens is always the best thing, and you can figure out what kind of support to give very easily.
Not all changes will come with a long warning. Sometimes changes will be told with a little time to make the adjustment. Hopefully you and your significant other still have time to discuss what changing might be happening in their jobs and how it will effect them, you and your family.
Then of course there are changes that happen with little to no notice at all. These are the hardest changes to lend support to. Your significant other may not have a choice or a say in the change that has just occurred and you will just have to roll with whatever has been decided. You as the significant other may not understand what just happened, and honestly sometimes the person in the field may be just as confused. If you don't understand what is about to happen it's really hard to give any good words of encouragement or any possible advice.
When your find yourself at odds with how to support something, you always have to remember this is your significant others career and that most of the time they probably have no say in what happens at the office. You always need to let them know that you love them and that no matter what happens you will be there to encourage them, help them through the issues(if it's not something good). You may not like what is going on in their job but it's not for you to complain about because honestly there is nothing you can do about it. Chances are there is nothing your significant other can do about it. You can express your opinions on it but remember that you cannot change situations that happen.
Personally, I support my husband in everything that involves his career. Sometimes it's hard for me to be supportive, especially if it's something that will keep him away from his family. I just have to understand that what he does is good for his career and will help him advance in the field. Are there times I want to tell him to skip doing something because I crave time with him and I know the girls miss him? Yes of course, but I would never make him chose between something that will help him develop more for his job and him family. After being with him for seven and a half years I know there are some battles I will lose. We have been blindsided by changes before and it's hard to swallow sometimes, but the best I can do is tell Casey that I love him and that as long as he is happy I will support any decision he makes, whether that has been to start job hunting, take on extra responsibility, or stick out the changes and see what will happen from there.
When it came time to move to North Dakota, I wasn't the happiest of campers. I knew the climate and knew I wouldn't do well in the sub zero winters. I also knew that the job he would be taking was a great career advancement and that he might not get an opportunity like this again. Even though the winters are long and hard with kids I am very happy with our choice to move out here. Now that we are out here, he has excelled in his job and now has an opportunity to advance even more. I support his choice to try this new opportunity and will be there every step of the way.
Always make sure your significant other knows you love and support them 100%. Even if the only support you can give is a hug and a smile, the smallest support goes a long way.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
It's June
In the world of Residence Life June is one of the best months. All the students have moved out, things have finally calmed down and you have a month and a half(if you are lucky) before training starts.
For our family June marks the time where vacations are possible. We don't always go on vacations but knowing that it's a possibility sometimes is good enough. The only problem is that everyone wants to use June as vacation time as well so it's very hard for everyone to leave. There always has to be someone on duty. Yes, even when the students aren't here there is still a duty rotation. Orientation kids are here, camps and various other things occupy the residence halls so there always has to be people here to take the phone.
With that being the case sometimes you have to take what you are given. A full week away may not be a possibility, so sometimes you might have to settle for a weekend away or even a day trip. Depending on what school you are at these are very easy to accomplish. Thankfully for us we have several options to take mini trips. My parents live a half days drive away so as long as I get a weekend off of work we can go down to visit my parents. Yes it's usually only for two days but two days away is sometimes all you need. Vacations don't have to be about extravagant adventures. After what probably was a stressful end of the school year and getting everything done for move out, just leaving town is a good idea.
We love going to visit my parents. The girls love seeing their grandparents, Casey and I love getting a little 'break' from being the ones watching them all the time, and Casey loves being able to get out on the golf course with my dad and not having to worry about work. My parents live only a couple hours south of Minneapolis so going up there for a day is always a possibility and there is plenty to do up there. Usually in major cities there is always plenty to do, weather it's just you and your significant other, or if you have a family.
We will be heading down to my parents in two weeks for a quick three day vacation. It will be a wonderful trip. For us just getting away from town makes any trip a success. Sometimes we just need a break from the ordinary. This trip I am hoping to take the girls up to the Minneapolis Zoo for the day. Alexis loves going to zoos and seeing animals and I am sure Chloe would love the hustle and bustle of a zoo because she just loves watching everything. Even if we don't make it up to the zoo spending time at my parents house will be great. My mom got a kiddie pool for the girls, plus they belong to a country club so while my dad and Casey are out golfing we could always take the girls to the pool there. Plus there are plenty of parks in the area. It's never a dull moment when we go visit my parents and we look forward to every minute.
So if you find yourself wanting to get away from your town but don't have the money or means to go on a huge vacation, check out surrounding towns that are within a days drive and see what there is to do. Sometimes all you get is the weekend, especially when training starts getting closer and closer. If you have a family, planning ahead will go along way. Kids don't alway do well with spontaneous trips, especially when you have to pack and plan for every scenario. With the internet though it will be easy for you to check out a town before going and making a plan, even a back up plan for events for the whole family. If you don't have kids or decide to do a trip sans kids, being a little more spontaneous might be easier. Still do your research, especially on places to stay and get reviews on places to eat.
Another thing I always like to do before a trip, especially if I know I am going to try and take the kids some place, I look for coupons. You usually can find some kind of on line discount book, or even on Groupon you can find deals for the places you want to go. Also check the places you are interested in going to see if they offer special rates for certain times and dates. Usually weekends aren't the best times for special rates, because its usually the busiest times for places, but it doesn't hurt to look and inquire about things. If you are going with a family, check to see how many people you need for a special group rate, and if the number is reachable, see if another family you know would be interested in going with and then you can use the special rate.
Happy June to all you Housing people. Please feel free to comment and share your tips on how you use your vacation time to the fullest.
For our family June marks the time where vacations are possible. We don't always go on vacations but knowing that it's a possibility sometimes is good enough. The only problem is that everyone wants to use June as vacation time as well so it's very hard for everyone to leave. There always has to be someone on duty. Yes, even when the students aren't here there is still a duty rotation. Orientation kids are here, camps and various other things occupy the residence halls so there always has to be people here to take the phone.
With that being the case sometimes you have to take what you are given. A full week away may not be a possibility, so sometimes you might have to settle for a weekend away or even a day trip. Depending on what school you are at these are very easy to accomplish. Thankfully for us we have several options to take mini trips. My parents live a half days drive away so as long as I get a weekend off of work we can go down to visit my parents. Yes it's usually only for two days but two days away is sometimes all you need. Vacations don't have to be about extravagant adventures. After what probably was a stressful end of the school year and getting everything done for move out, just leaving town is a good idea.
We love going to visit my parents. The girls love seeing their grandparents, Casey and I love getting a little 'break' from being the ones watching them all the time, and Casey loves being able to get out on the golf course with my dad and not having to worry about work. My parents live only a couple hours south of Minneapolis so going up there for a day is always a possibility and there is plenty to do up there. Usually in major cities there is always plenty to do, weather it's just you and your significant other, or if you have a family.
We will be heading down to my parents in two weeks for a quick three day vacation. It will be a wonderful trip. For us just getting away from town makes any trip a success. Sometimes we just need a break from the ordinary. This trip I am hoping to take the girls up to the Minneapolis Zoo for the day. Alexis loves going to zoos and seeing animals and I am sure Chloe would love the hustle and bustle of a zoo because she just loves watching everything. Even if we don't make it up to the zoo spending time at my parents house will be great. My mom got a kiddie pool for the girls, plus they belong to a country club so while my dad and Casey are out golfing we could always take the girls to the pool there. Plus there are plenty of parks in the area. It's never a dull moment when we go visit my parents and we look forward to every minute.
So if you find yourself wanting to get away from your town but don't have the money or means to go on a huge vacation, check out surrounding towns that are within a days drive and see what there is to do. Sometimes all you get is the weekend, especially when training starts getting closer and closer. If you have a family, planning ahead will go along way. Kids don't alway do well with spontaneous trips, especially when you have to pack and plan for every scenario. With the internet though it will be easy for you to check out a town before going and making a plan, even a back up plan for events for the whole family. If you don't have kids or decide to do a trip sans kids, being a little more spontaneous might be easier. Still do your research, especially on places to stay and get reviews on places to eat.
Another thing I always like to do before a trip, especially if I know I am going to try and take the kids some place, I look for coupons. You usually can find some kind of on line discount book, or even on Groupon you can find deals for the places you want to go. Also check the places you are interested in going to see if they offer special rates for certain times and dates. Usually weekends aren't the best times for special rates, because its usually the busiest times for places, but it doesn't hurt to look and inquire about things. If you are going with a family, check to see how many people you need for a special group rate, and if the number is reachable, see if another family you know would be interested in going with and then you can use the special rate.
Happy June to all you Housing people. Please feel free to comment and share your tips on how you use your vacation time to the fullest.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Intro
First I just want to say that I have started this blog to share my experiences and maybe even lend some advice to those in similar situations as me.
I am the wife of someone who works in Residence Life and Housing at a college/university. At times it can be a very lonely life between some late nights, long weekends and conferences, but its a very rewarding thing as well. I love watching my husband excel in his career and I know he loves what he does. As this blog goes on I will talk about what I do as a wife and a mom to help the lonely times pass with more ease. I will share events, recourses and places I frequent to keep me and the girls busy while my husband is busy.
I have been married to my husband for five and a half years. Been with him for seven and a half. We met while I was finishing up my undergraduate degree and he was finishing up his masters degree. Right away I knew what he was going to school for and what he wanted to do with his career. We have two wonderful daughters and even though it's hard at times when their dad is away, life couldn't be any better.
Since graduating we have moved to several places while Casey(my husband) has expanded his career. The first year after graduating we found ourselves at Illinois State University where he severed as a hall director. After a year there we moved to New York where for two years Casey was a hall director at SUNY Oswego. That is where our oldest daughter, Alexis, was born. When an opportunity came up to move up in the field, we made the decision to move to Grand Forks, ND where Casey got a job as an Assistant Director in the housing office at University of North Dakota(UND). We have been here for four years and just 8 months ago we welcomed out second daughter, Chloe, into the world and our family.
It's here in North Dakota where we have experienced the most and have had our relationship and family tested. Casey travels at least three times a year for his job, each time requiring him to be gone at least three days, sometimes more. It's during those times that I will be sharing how I handle and what I with the girls while Casey is away.
I hope by creating this blog, I will be able to help other wives, maybe even husbands, of those whose significant others are in the same field as my husband. It can be difficult at times, but hopefully my experiences will be able to help some of you get through the tough times and we can share experiences, share helpful tips, and resources.
Stay tuned as I start blogging, sharing my experiences. I will post links to various things that I come across, events, locations and other things that help me and my family.
I am the wife of someone who works in Residence Life and Housing at a college/university. At times it can be a very lonely life between some late nights, long weekends and conferences, but its a very rewarding thing as well. I love watching my husband excel in his career and I know he loves what he does. As this blog goes on I will talk about what I do as a wife and a mom to help the lonely times pass with more ease. I will share events, recourses and places I frequent to keep me and the girls busy while my husband is busy.
I have been married to my husband for five and a half years. Been with him for seven and a half. We met while I was finishing up my undergraduate degree and he was finishing up his masters degree. Right away I knew what he was going to school for and what he wanted to do with his career. We have two wonderful daughters and even though it's hard at times when their dad is away, life couldn't be any better.
Since graduating we have moved to several places while Casey(my husband) has expanded his career. The first year after graduating we found ourselves at Illinois State University where he severed as a hall director. After a year there we moved to New York where for two years Casey was a hall director at SUNY Oswego. That is where our oldest daughter, Alexis, was born. When an opportunity came up to move up in the field, we made the decision to move to Grand Forks, ND where Casey got a job as an Assistant Director in the housing office at University of North Dakota(UND). We have been here for four years and just 8 months ago we welcomed out second daughter, Chloe, into the world and our family.
It's here in North Dakota where we have experienced the most and have had our relationship and family tested. Casey travels at least three times a year for his job, each time requiring him to be gone at least three days, sometimes more. It's during those times that I will be sharing how I handle and what I with the girls while Casey is away.
I hope by creating this blog, I will be able to help other wives, maybe even husbands, of those whose significant others are in the same field as my husband. It can be difficult at times, but hopefully my experiences will be able to help some of you get through the tough times and we can share experiences, share helpful tips, and resources.
Stay tuned as I start blogging, sharing my experiences. I will post links to various things that I come across, events, locations and other things that help me and my family.
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