Well, I went on a long hiatus from this then I anticipated. Once again I will try and be more vigilant about updating the blog. Trying to adjust to a new area took a lot of time. Especially when we finally found a house and moved in. Casey survived his first summer, fall training and fall move in for the university. I guess the biggest news is that I have now entered into the university system. At the end of August I accepted a position as a dispatcher for the Office of Public Safety. I work over night so I know what happens when everyone goes to bed. Some nights it's thrilling other nights you are begging for a car to get pulled over just so you have something to do.
As many of you realize it's amazing how much housing and public safety interact with each other on a regular basis. In a way we both have the same goals, to keep the kids safe and let them have a great college experience. We are there to provide help when something bad happens, which we always hope nothing bad happens to students. You are there to provide help if they have issues with simple things. Housing also provides fun and interactive things for the students to do.
From moving around to different universities I have always like to see how the University and even housing interacts with the city around them. Mostly when it comes to major events. Most colleges with football teams have homecoming festivities and they do make sure to provide some that are family friendly. Here we were able to watch the homecoming parade and the girls enjoyed a few bounce houses afterwards. At Halloween RHA put on a Hall-o-ween program, they opened on of the halls to the public and had Halloween themed games as well as trick or treating through the residence hall. My kids thoroughly enjoy that, mostly because it means more candy. As a parent it's nice that college students recognize the need to provide a safe environment for kids to have fun and trick or treat without worrying about traffic or other hazards. I know the college students also love seeing the kids all dressed up.
If your University Housing doesn't already have programs like this lined up for holidays, I honestly would highly encourage you try and start setting it up. I know it's greatly appreciated by parents of smaller kids who doesn't necessarily want to take their kids out trick or treating on the streets. Also here they did an easter egg hunt for the kids, and divided them up by ages so it was more fair for the younger kids. This is good for the community too since not every town has places that do egg hunts or egg drops. It's also a great way for your student leaders to get even more creative especially when it comes to expanding to a larger section of the population and not just planning things for college students. It also gives the public a better look at what goes on in University housing being a bunch of college kids living in dorms. (I know that is a bad word in the housing world, but to be honest, everyone outside of university housing still call them dorms). Honestly planning a community involved event will give your student leaders a little bit more of a challenge because they would have to think about how to cater to a wider audience, especially when it involves children, mainly because you want to make sure you don't exclude any age groups. When you plan a hall only event it's easy to pick something the general population of your hall would like, because they are all around the same age and would probably enjoy the same thing. Letting them get their hands wet into planning something more board would be great real world experience and give you a better sense of how they are at tackling bigger projects.
Hopefully now that I work over night and honestly come 4 a.m. I am usually just trying to stay awake I will keep up with this blog more regularly. I ask only one thing of those who read this. Please share among your university housing friends, I would love to building a reader base and hopefully provide some helpful tips to those in housing and those who are the spouses/significant others of those in housing. I know this post was all over the place but I will come back with more solid topics that pertain mostly to surviving as a residence life spouse or significant other. Hope you will come back to reading and enjoy my insights.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Monday, June 29, 2015
Recognition
As my husband is off attending a conference and bunches of now holders of master degrees move into new positions at new institutions I figured I would finally sit now and write a new post. With out recent move(s) I have been trying to find the time and the right nows to write this one.
Most people like instant gratification on a job well done. Usually that's not always the case, and it's no different with people working within Residential Life at any college/university. You deal with so much stuff from students to parents and most of the time you do not get a thank you. I am here to tell you that even though you don't get recognized for all that you do and the wonderful job each and every one of you do in your job people do notice and do appreciate it.
I can imagine that leaving one institution for another is hard, and maybe even harder when you leave wondering if anything you did there was noticed or even made a difference. Sometimes you leave wondering all of that and then one day you get your answer. It may take a while but somewhere down the line a person who you made a difference to will give you that recognition. Even if you don't hear from the people whose lives you touched(some people aren't good at saying things) know that everything you do is for a great reason. Without everyone within Res Life college/universities would be lost when it comes to housing their students. Even though more and more students choose to live off campus it's still a rite of passage for some to live on campus and get the full college experience and it's part of your job to make sure they have a safe and fulfilling experience. With so many students don't expect a thank you note from every single one of them. But know that you made a difference to some of them.
So thank you for all that you do and know that you make a difference and your job is important and that people do understand and appreciate all your hard work.
Also good luck to all recent grads starting their first 'real' jobs and to anyone who may have found new jobs and all who have changed colleges/universities. Settle in and show your new place what you are made of, you will make a difference wherever you go.
Most people like instant gratification on a job well done. Usually that's not always the case, and it's no different with people working within Residential Life at any college/university. You deal with so much stuff from students to parents and most of the time you do not get a thank you. I am here to tell you that even though you don't get recognized for all that you do and the wonderful job each and every one of you do in your job people do notice and do appreciate it.
I can imagine that leaving one institution for another is hard, and maybe even harder when you leave wondering if anything you did there was noticed or even made a difference. Sometimes you leave wondering all of that and then one day you get your answer. It may take a while but somewhere down the line a person who you made a difference to will give you that recognition. Even if you don't hear from the people whose lives you touched(some people aren't good at saying things) know that everything you do is for a great reason. Without everyone within Res Life college/universities would be lost when it comes to housing their students. Even though more and more students choose to live off campus it's still a rite of passage for some to live on campus and get the full college experience and it's part of your job to make sure they have a safe and fulfilling experience. With so many students don't expect a thank you note from every single one of them. But know that you made a difference to some of them.
So thank you for all that you do and know that you make a difference and your job is important and that people do understand and appreciate all your hard work.
Also good luck to all recent grads starting their first 'real' jobs and to anyone who may have found new jobs and all who have changed colleges/universities. Settle in and show your new place what you are made of, you will make a difference wherever you go.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Being There
I know it's been a while again. Still trying to settle down in Georgia. Hoping once we finally move into our house I will keep up with the blog more.
This post is about being there for work stuff. It's the end of the school year and for most housing staffs you have one if not more banquets to attend. I usually attend as many as I can. I will even request off work to do so. It did become more difficult once we started having kids. Sometimes brining kids is ok, usually everyone loves to see your kids and know how you and the kids are doing. If I know it's going to be a long banquet I will try and find a babysitter. You will find out what works best for you and your family when it comes time to be involved with staff stuff.
You might be wondering why as the significant other you should show up to staff events. It's just like for any job it always looks good to have your significant other show up to things. You want to show your significant other and their colleagues that you support them and their career. Usually most events are fun and you will end up having a great time. The banquets are always nice because it's usually a free meal.(LOL). Even if you can only show up for a minute, that can make a huge difference. You really want to let your partner know that you support them and their job. That is why I try and show up to all the events I can. Of course I am not saying you should put your job second like I do mine sometimes, but you have to put forth the effort. It will be a two way street. If you are willing to show up to work events for your partner, they will be more then willing to show up to work events for you.
I work part time so showing up to events are a little bit easier for me. Banquets are usually the easiest to attend especially if you also have a full time job because they are in the evening. Banquets are usually celebrating the RAs and any student group that is a part of housing. So there will be a lot of talking and speeches but it's a great way for you to learn about the people your partner works closely with every day.
Other events throughout the year are usually hall programs that are a little more relaxed and most of the time have food as well.(LOL). All programs are usually geared toward something educational mixed in with fun and entertainment. These kind of programs are usually the best to take the kids to as well because the kids will be more then welcoming and willing to let your kids participate. We haven't had many opportunities to attend programs here being only here a semester but one that we did go to had a pie your CL(community leader) to raise money. Someone paid the money but let our oldest do the actually pie throwing.
Weather it is a formal get together, an informational program and a just for fun program it's good that you try and be there to show your support for you partner, their job and their school. You will have a better understanding of what they do, and of the people they are working with. I usually become friends with many of Casey's co-workers and I first get to know them by attending programs and work related events.
As an end and different note I want to say congratulations to all grads who will be getting their Masters in Higher ed sometime within the next month. Also congrats to those who have found jobs and urge patients to those who haven't yet.
This post is about being there for work stuff. It's the end of the school year and for most housing staffs you have one if not more banquets to attend. I usually attend as many as I can. I will even request off work to do so. It did become more difficult once we started having kids. Sometimes brining kids is ok, usually everyone loves to see your kids and know how you and the kids are doing. If I know it's going to be a long banquet I will try and find a babysitter. You will find out what works best for you and your family when it comes time to be involved with staff stuff.
You might be wondering why as the significant other you should show up to staff events. It's just like for any job it always looks good to have your significant other show up to things. You want to show your significant other and their colleagues that you support them and their career. Usually most events are fun and you will end up having a great time. The banquets are always nice because it's usually a free meal.(LOL). Even if you can only show up for a minute, that can make a huge difference. You really want to let your partner know that you support them and their job. That is why I try and show up to all the events I can. Of course I am not saying you should put your job second like I do mine sometimes, but you have to put forth the effort. It will be a two way street. If you are willing to show up to work events for your partner, they will be more then willing to show up to work events for you.
I work part time so showing up to events are a little bit easier for me. Banquets are usually the easiest to attend especially if you also have a full time job because they are in the evening. Banquets are usually celebrating the RAs and any student group that is a part of housing. So there will be a lot of talking and speeches but it's a great way for you to learn about the people your partner works closely with every day.
Other events throughout the year are usually hall programs that are a little more relaxed and most of the time have food as well.(LOL). All programs are usually geared toward something educational mixed in with fun and entertainment. These kind of programs are usually the best to take the kids to as well because the kids will be more then welcoming and willing to let your kids participate. We haven't had many opportunities to attend programs here being only here a semester but one that we did go to had a pie your CL(community leader) to raise money. Someone paid the money but let our oldest do the actually pie throwing.
Weather it is a formal get together, an informational program and a just for fun program it's good that you try and be there to show your support for you partner, their job and their school. You will have a better understanding of what they do, and of the people they are working with. I usually become friends with many of Casey's co-workers and I first get to know them by attending programs and work related events.
As an end and different note I want to say congratulations to all grads who will be getting their Masters in Higher ed sometime within the next month. Also congrats to those who have found jobs and urge patients to those who haven't yet.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Going on a HUNT
A Job Hunt!
I know in my last post I said I would be doing my next post on duty calls, but with hiring conferences going on, I figured I would do a post about job searching. I have experienced job searching first hand from the first job hunt while still in grad school to job hunting for a different, possibly bigger and better position. I have picked up some tidbits on the way.
First time searchers might feel overwhelmed by all the possibilities and all the interviews. The best thing to do is make sure you have an open mind. Don't expect that your dream job at your dream school will be there waiting for you to apply. If it is there waiting for you, expect that you won't be the only one applying. Have back up plans. First off you need to have an open mind about where you are looking for a job. If you have a specific place you want to move to realize that there might be limited options so have alternative locations you wouldn't mind moving too. If you were like Casey and didn't really have a preference of where you want to move, know what kind of position you are looking for and perhaps even narrow it down to the size of school. Do you want to be a little fish in a big pond, or maybe a smaller school where the department you are working in will be smaller? Like I said make sure you know what you are looking for in a position and in a school in order to know what positions you would like to apply for.
Also what can be overwhelming to a first time searcher is the amount of interviews you will probably engage in while you are searching. When you attend a hiring conference it's very easy to stack your day full of interviews. Casey went to a hiring conference and his interview card was full. Make sure you apply and try and get interviews for the schools and positions that are on the top of your list if they are in attendance. Wouldn't hurt to have a few back up interviews. Don't stretch yourself too thin that you are over stressed and that you cannot function from one interview to another. Make sure you leave time to prep for each interview because if you don't have time to review each school you might go into an interview feeling overwhelmed and under prepared. Also you don't have to thin out your interviews so much that you leave the conference not feeling like you had a productive time. This same goes for doing traditional phone interviews outside of a conference. Don't stack them all in one day or back to back. It's very easy to get carried away with interviews, especially if you worry about not finding a job. In the same turn it's also easy to feel very confident about getting a position that you won't have enough options just in case the one you really want falls through.
Expect to spend some money. Job searching doesn't come free. Depending on your school you might have to foot some of the bill for attending conferences. Also depending on the school you will be interviewing at you may need to foot the bill for on campus interviews. Yes, you will most likely have to go on at least one campus interview. Especially in the field of higher ed they will expect to bring the top two or three candidates to campus for in person interviews. Depending on what position and how high it is in the department will depend on the amount of compensation given for campus interviews. So that is one thing you will have to take into consideration when accepting a campus interview. If you weren't impressed or feel like that job is right for you based on a phone interview then consider if your money would be well spent going on a campus interview. Depending on how you do your taxes you might be able to claim some of it on there, but like I said that depends on how the taxes are done. I know moving expenses for a job can be claimed on taxes if the new place doesn't cover it, but that's a whole other story. If you are gonna fly make sure you price out airlines and several airports especially if you live within a reasonable distance to more then one airport. Flying out of the closest airport might not be the cheapest option, so do your research on flights before accepting a campus interview if you have the time before accepting the interview.
Research is another important to do with interview. Researching the job, the department you will be entering into, the school you would be at, the town you will be living in, the surrounding area. If something doesn't jive with you about any of that, that might be a red flag and maybe pass. You have to like the job, like the school and like the area. There will always be both pro and cons to every position, department, school and town, so don't feel like you have to search for the perfect of everything, because honestly there isn't a perfect of everything. Just so about your researching the area this way. Could you see yourself spending a few years in that same place. If the answer is yes, it's probably a good idea to apply. If you cannot see yourself in the position for more then one year maybe pass on it. Take your time to learn as much as you can about the place. It will also help you in the interview if you research the school. Interviewers will ask if you have any questions and that would be a good time to ask questions you have about the department that you may have stubbled across while you were looking into their department and school.
You may also need to take into consideration other people. When Casey first started his job search we were living together and wanted to continue to do so, so on his list of things a school needed to have was a domestic partner policy. We were lucky that he was able to find a place that allowed couples to live together without being married. Obviously we did end up getting married, but having a place that allowed us to live together before being married was really nice. Then once we were married and started our family our moves had to take into consideration our growing family. The place not only had to work for us but also for our children. Now obviously most first time searchers will not have family to move with them, but maybe that is something down the road you will have to consider. As you get further and further along in your career the more and more things you will have to take into account when it comes to job searching.
For all of you out there searching right now, especially those who are on their first job search, relax and know that you will find a great place for you and a great place to help get you on the career path you hope to be on. I hope some of what I wrote was helpful and feel free to post comments if you have any questions. I wouldn't mind sharing some more insights from my role in the res ed job hunting. So to all of you job hunting right now, take a deep breath, relax, research and don't get discouraged you will find a job that is good for you.
Good Luck going on a job hunt!
I know in my last post I said I would be doing my next post on duty calls, but with hiring conferences going on, I figured I would do a post about job searching. I have experienced job searching first hand from the first job hunt while still in grad school to job hunting for a different, possibly bigger and better position. I have picked up some tidbits on the way.
First time searchers might feel overwhelmed by all the possibilities and all the interviews. The best thing to do is make sure you have an open mind. Don't expect that your dream job at your dream school will be there waiting for you to apply. If it is there waiting for you, expect that you won't be the only one applying. Have back up plans. First off you need to have an open mind about where you are looking for a job. If you have a specific place you want to move to realize that there might be limited options so have alternative locations you wouldn't mind moving too. If you were like Casey and didn't really have a preference of where you want to move, know what kind of position you are looking for and perhaps even narrow it down to the size of school. Do you want to be a little fish in a big pond, or maybe a smaller school where the department you are working in will be smaller? Like I said make sure you know what you are looking for in a position and in a school in order to know what positions you would like to apply for.
Also what can be overwhelming to a first time searcher is the amount of interviews you will probably engage in while you are searching. When you attend a hiring conference it's very easy to stack your day full of interviews. Casey went to a hiring conference and his interview card was full. Make sure you apply and try and get interviews for the schools and positions that are on the top of your list if they are in attendance. Wouldn't hurt to have a few back up interviews. Don't stretch yourself too thin that you are over stressed and that you cannot function from one interview to another. Make sure you leave time to prep for each interview because if you don't have time to review each school you might go into an interview feeling overwhelmed and under prepared. Also you don't have to thin out your interviews so much that you leave the conference not feeling like you had a productive time. This same goes for doing traditional phone interviews outside of a conference. Don't stack them all in one day or back to back. It's very easy to get carried away with interviews, especially if you worry about not finding a job. In the same turn it's also easy to feel very confident about getting a position that you won't have enough options just in case the one you really want falls through.
Expect to spend some money. Job searching doesn't come free. Depending on your school you might have to foot some of the bill for attending conferences. Also depending on the school you will be interviewing at you may need to foot the bill for on campus interviews. Yes, you will most likely have to go on at least one campus interview. Especially in the field of higher ed they will expect to bring the top two or three candidates to campus for in person interviews. Depending on what position and how high it is in the department will depend on the amount of compensation given for campus interviews. So that is one thing you will have to take into consideration when accepting a campus interview. If you weren't impressed or feel like that job is right for you based on a phone interview then consider if your money would be well spent going on a campus interview. Depending on how you do your taxes you might be able to claim some of it on there, but like I said that depends on how the taxes are done. I know moving expenses for a job can be claimed on taxes if the new place doesn't cover it, but that's a whole other story. If you are gonna fly make sure you price out airlines and several airports especially if you live within a reasonable distance to more then one airport. Flying out of the closest airport might not be the cheapest option, so do your research on flights before accepting a campus interview if you have the time before accepting the interview.
Research is another important to do with interview. Researching the job, the department you will be entering into, the school you would be at, the town you will be living in, the surrounding area. If something doesn't jive with you about any of that, that might be a red flag and maybe pass. You have to like the job, like the school and like the area. There will always be both pro and cons to every position, department, school and town, so don't feel like you have to search for the perfect of everything, because honestly there isn't a perfect of everything. Just so about your researching the area this way. Could you see yourself spending a few years in that same place. If the answer is yes, it's probably a good idea to apply. If you cannot see yourself in the position for more then one year maybe pass on it. Take your time to learn as much as you can about the place. It will also help you in the interview if you research the school. Interviewers will ask if you have any questions and that would be a good time to ask questions you have about the department that you may have stubbled across while you were looking into their department and school.
You may also need to take into consideration other people. When Casey first started his job search we were living together and wanted to continue to do so, so on his list of things a school needed to have was a domestic partner policy. We were lucky that he was able to find a place that allowed couples to live together without being married. Obviously we did end up getting married, but having a place that allowed us to live together before being married was really nice. Then once we were married and started our family our moves had to take into consideration our growing family. The place not only had to work for us but also for our children. Now obviously most first time searchers will not have family to move with them, but maybe that is something down the road you will have to consider. As you get further and further along in your career the more and more things you will have to take into account when it comes to job searching.
For all of you out there searching right now, especially those who are on their first job search, relax and know that you will find a great place for you and a great place to help get you on the career path you hope to be on. I hope some of what I wrote was helpful and feel free to post comments if you have any questions. I wouldn't mind sharing some more insights from my role in the res ed job hunting. So to all of you job hunting right now, take a deep breath, relax, research and don't get discouraged you will find a job that is good for you.
Good Luck going on a job hunt!
Monday, February 23, 2015
Been a long time
Sorry to anyone who had started reading this blog and then I suddenly stopped posting. Things got crazy and a lot has changed.
First of all I would like to say that we have moved down to Georgia. Casey accepted a position at Georgia Southern University and the holidays for us were spent packing up the house, listing it on the market and then making the trek down here. The worst part was probably packing and trying to get a moving company at a good price. We were able to get a good deal and loaded up the truck, our cars and the kids. We left three days after christmas and took about four days to get down here. All and all it was an uneventful trip and for a drive with two small kids an uneventful trip is the best kind of all.
Casey's job is very similar to the one at UND. He will help advise the Association of Residence halls as well as take on call rotation and supervise the hall directors for some of the residence halls. He also gets to attend professional conferences as well as student conferences. He has settled into his job really nicely.
We have sort of started to settle into life here. What I mean by sort of is that we are still in temporary housing while we look for a permanent place to live. We have started looking at houses now that the sale on our house in Grand Forks is pending. It's actually been kind of fun looking at houses trying to find the best one for our family. Hoping by sometime in April we will be in our new one. All of our stuff is in storage and I know all of us are starting to miss our things and just the feeling of home when we have our stuff.
I cannot complain about the weather down here as I sit inside on a a rainy day. I know that up in Grand Forks the temps are below zero up there. It's kind of been a perk of the move down south, their winter isn't nearly as bad as we had up there. We are still getting use to the area and figuring out things for the girls to do but we are getting to know the place and are getting into a routine.
Now that we are somewhat settled I am gonna start this blog up again. Tonight I will be posting about duty calls with maybe a few stories about things I have been witness to over the last 8 years that I have been with casey and he has been in Housing.
First of all I would like to say that we have moved down to Georgia. Casey accepted a position at Georgia Southern University and the holidays for us were spent packing up the house, listing it on the market and then making the trek down here. The worst part was probably packing and trying to get a moving company at a good price. We were able to get a good deal and loaded up the truck, our cars and the kids. We left three days after christmas and took about four days to get down here. All and all it was an uneventful trip and for a drive with two small kids an uneventful trip is the best kind of all.
Casey's job is very similar to the one at UND. He will help advise the Association of Residence halls as well as take on call rotation and supervise the hall directors for some of the residence halls. He also gets to attend professional conferences as well as student conferences. He has settled into his job really nicely.
We have sort of started to settle into life here. What I mean by sort of is that we are still in temporary housing while we look for a permanent place to live. We have started looking at houses now that the sale on our house in Grand Forks is pending. It's actually been kind of fun looking at houses trying to find the best one for our family. Hoping by sometime in April we will be in our new one. All of our stuff is in storage and I know all of us are starting to miss our things and just the feeling of home when we have our stuff.
I cannot complain about the weather down here as I sit inside on a a rainy day. I know that up in Grand Forks the temps are below zero up there. It's kind of been a perk of the move down south, their winter isn't nearly as bad as we had up there. We are still getting use to the area and figuring out things for the girls to do but we are getting to know the place and are getting into a routine.
Now that we are somewhat settled I am gonna start this blog up again. Tonight I will be posting about duty calls with maybe a few stories about things I have been witness to over the last 8 years that I have been with casey and he has been in Housing.
Monday, November 3, 2014
When the cat is away....
The mouse misses him but takes over the whole bed. Everyone in student affairs will hopefully get an opportunity to go on a conference or two and depending on what your job is they will get to attend multiple conferences throughout the year.
There are several kinds of conferences. Professional development, recruiting/hiring and student conferences. My husband has had the opportunity to attend all three. With his current job because he is the advisor of a student group, three times a year for the last four going on five years he has been able to attend student conferences with a group of amazing students. One takes place in the fall, one in the late winter and one usually beginning of summer(end of the school year). The nice thing about his attendance at these conferences is that the student group and university cover all travel and registration expenses. Most universities will offer some kind of stipend to help cover costs. Not all universities do this and if you are unsure if your university offers this, don't hesitate to ask.
The hardest part of conferences is the time away from the family. Usually for a conference you or your significant other will be gone for probably at least four days, you have to figure in travel as two of those days. If they are going on their very first conference it will be a different experience for you both. Depending on your situation this might be the first time you have spend significant time apart and if you have a family the first time the kids have experienced a parent leaving for a length of time.
There are up and downs to having them go away for a length of time. I usually take over the whole bed when Casey is gone. Well I try and take over the whole bed but I find myself usually staying over on my side most of the time. It's also a time I get to watch all the tv shows and movies that I know he wouldn't want to watch with me. It seems dumb that it's a highlight of the time away, but I like certain movies that I know he wouldn't sit down and watch with me so I don't mind waiting until he is gone to watch them myself.
Since we have kids that's the hard part about conferences. When the kids are young, honestly they might not understand and really know that their mom/dad is gone. For the most part our one year old didn't even notice this past weekend that Casey was gone. She was happy to see him when he came home, but for the most part was unaware of this absence. As horrible as it sounds, it makes that time easier. You don't have to explain where daddy went, try and give a time frame of return. Now with our five year old she understands when daddy has to leave town for work. That was is a little harder because several times a day I have to listen to how much she misses daddy and the constant question of when will he be home. The best thing to do with kids is distract them and keep them as busy as possible so the time goes by really fast. Thankfully this last conference was over Halloween so distraction was built right in. Our town does a ton of things for Halloween so it was a matter of planning things out and finding as many of those activities to go to as we can.
Conferences over the winter are the hardest, especially with kids because it's not as easy to take them to the park or out of the house to keep them distracted. My suggestion would be to line up play dates with friends, find things that are going on in your town over that time that are family friendly that you can easily take the kids to.
Your first conference experience can be a little difficult especially if you have more then one kid because you need to makes sure that the whole time you are giving enough attention to both. For me I have found bedtime to be the hardest. While I do but the girls to bed myself through the year, it's the multiple days in a row that starts to get a little hectic, especially when the older one starts missing daddy and I think she just gets tired of mommy putting her to bed. Thankfully she can understand the concept of tomorrow and the day after tomorrow so it's easy for me to explain when daddy is coming home in terms of days.
For us going on a conference is just another time of the year because Casey has been going on conferences our whole relationship so we have gotten use to it. Although you never really get use to them leaving for any length of time and you always miss them, but it does get easier as you get into a routine of what you do while they are away. Obviously if they are going during the week you probably have your own routine of work, school and other obligations set, but if they are gone over a weekend that might take a little more planning to establish what you will do to occupy your time as well as your kids time.
One nice thing Casey has done for the girls, is every conference he attends he tries to bring back a shirt for each of the girls from the school the conference was at. We decided early on that it should be a tradition for him to bring them back a shirt and then when they turn 18, or whenever he stops attending conferences we will take of the shirts and cut them into quilt pieces and make each of the girls a quilt for them to have. It will be a great memento of all the conferences he went on and something the girls can keep forever. You don't have to do something like that, but honestly having something like that gives your significant other something to so special for your kids and gives your kids something to look forward to when they get back. Obviously if you don't have kids you could always bring back something for your significant other to have. Casey usually always tries to bring me back something as well. My hoodie collection has grew pretty nicely, as well as my collection of sweatpants.
Conferences are great for professional development and is a great experience for anyone in residence life and housing. You will make connections with people at other schools that could come in handy later in your career as well as make friendships with people. You will also learn the latest things in your field and ways to improve your career. Even though the idea of leaving for several days can be daunting, that shouldn't stop you from going. There will always be time to use the phone, and maybe depending on your level of technology you brought with, use Skype or FaceTime to communicate with your family, especially if you have kids.
Embrace the opportunities to go on conferences for both you career and your family. It's honestly good to get away and miss people for a little bit. Doing things to help your career will in turn help your family because you will be able to use those experiences to gain connections and job tools that could help you get a new job in the future. So don't get scared to go because you don't want to be away, embrace the opportunity as a good opportunity for you and your whole family.
There are several kinds of conferences. Professional development, recruiting/hiring and student conferences. My husband has had the opportunity to attend all three. With his current job because he is the advisor of a student group, three times a year for the last four going on five years he has been able to attend student conferences with a group of amazing students. One takes place in the fall, one in the late winter and one usually beginning of summer(end of the school year). The nice thing about his attendance at these conferences is that the student group and university cover all travel and registration expenses. Most universities will offer some kind of stipend to help cover costs. Not all universities do this and if you are unsure if your university offers this, don't hesitate to ask.
The hardest part of conferences is the time away from the family. Usually for a conference you or your significant other will be gone for probably at least four days, you have to figure in travel as two of those days. If they are going on their very first conference it will be a different experience for you both. Depending on your situation this might be the first time you have spend significant time apart and if you have a family the first time the kids have experienced a parent leaving for a length of time.
There are up and downs to having them go away for a length of time. I usually take over the whole bed when Casey is gone. Well I try and take over the whole bed but I find myself usually staying over on my side most of the time. It's also a time I get to watch all the tv shows and movies that I know he wouldn't want to watch with me. It seems dumb that it's a highlight of the time away, but I like certain movies that I know he wouldn't sit down and watch with me so I don't mind waiting until he is gone to watch them myself.
Since we have kids that's the hard part about conferences. When the kids are young, honestly they might not understand and really know that their mom/dad is gone. For the most part our one year old didn't even notice this past weekend that Casey was gone. She was happy to see him when he came home, but for the most part was unaware of this absence. As horrible as it sounds, it makes that time easier. You don't have to explain where daddy went, try and give a time frame of return. Now with our five year old she understands when daddy has to leave town for work. That was is a little harder because several times a day I have to listen to how much she misses daddy and the constant question of when will he be home. The best thing to do with kids is distract them and keep them as busy as possible so the time goes by really fast. Thankfully this last conference was over Halloween so distraction was built right in. Our town does a ton of things for Halloween so it was a matter of planning things out and finding as many of those activities to go to as we can.
Conferences over the winter are the hardest, especially with kids because it's not as easy to take them to the park or out of the house to keep them distracted. My suggestion would be to line up play dates with friends, find things that are going on in your town over that time that are family friendly that you can easily take the kids to.
Your first conference experience can be a little difficult especially if you have more then one kid because you need to makes sure that the whole time you are giving enough attention to both. For me I have found bedtime to be the hardest. While I do but the girls to bed myself through the year, it's the multiple days in a row that starts to get a little hectic, especially when the older one starts missing daddy and I think she just gets tired of mommy putting her to bed. Thankfully she can understand the concept of tomorrow and the day after tomorrow so it's easy for me to explain when daddy is coming home in terms of days.
For us going on a conference is just another time of the year because Casey has been going on conferences our whole relationship so we have gotten use to it. Although you never really get use to them leaving for any length of time and you always miss them, but it does get easier as you get into a routine of what you do while they are away. Obviously if they are going during the week you probably have your own routine of work, school and other obligations set, but if they are gone over a weekend that might take a little more planning to establish what you will do to occupy your time as well as your kids time.
One nice thing Casey has done for the girls, is every conference he attends he tries to bring back a shirt for each of the girls from the school the conference was at. We decided early on that it should be a tradition for him to bring them back a shirt and then when they turn 18, or whenever he stops attending conferences we will take of the shirts and cut them into quilt pieces and make each of the girls a quilt for them to have. It will be a great memento of all the conferences he went on and something the girls can keep forever. You don't have to do something like that, but honestly having something like that gives your significant other something to so special for your kids and gives your kids something to look forward to when they get back. Obviously if you don't have kids you could always bring back something for your significant other to have. Casey usually always tries to bring me back something as well. My hoodie collection has grew pretty nicely, as well as my collection of sweatpants.
Conferences are great for professional development and is a great experience for anyone in residence life and housing. You will make connections with people at other schools that could come in handy later in your career as well as make friendships with people. You will also learn the latest things in your field and ways to improve your career. Even though the idea of leaving for several days can be daunting, that shouldn't stop you from going. There will always be time to use the phone, and maybe depending on your level of technology you brought with, use Skype or FaceTime to communicate with your family, especially if you have kids.
Embrace the opportunities to go on conferences for both you career and your family. It's honestly good to get away and miss people for a little bit. Doing things to help your career will in turn help your family because you will be able to use those experiences to gain connections and job tools that could help you get a new job in the future. So don't get scared to go because you don't want to be away, embrace the opportunity as a good opportunity for you and your whole family.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Some Nights and Weekends
As I sit here listening to my youngest snoring over the baby monitor I realize how much I hate those words added to job descriptions. They kind of sneak it in on the last line of the job description. Honestly it makes you think that it means only when on duty, and then once in a blue moon. Well depending on what the rest of your job description is there is a lot more night and weekend work then just duty and random ones here and there.
Night and weekend work effect every relationship differently. If you both work during the day, having evenings and weekends off, having Res Life take a night or a weekend away from your time as a couple can be difficult. It definitely makes you have to carefully plan date nights, weekends away and any recreational activities you would possibly be engaging in. If your significant other advises a student group usually their meetings are one a week night only because that's usually the only time students can meet when it doesn't interfere with classes. If you are a hall director all your staff meetings, hall government meetings, programs and other like functions happen in the evening for the same reason, you want to have high attendance so you want to have all of those happening not during class hours.
If you are on duty nights and weekend work take on a whole new meaning. It means that phone will interrupt everything. Even those student programs you are organizing. I will not go into a rant about the duty phone. See previous post about duty phones for more thoughts on that subject.
If your significant other is an advisor or a campus wide student group like my husband it will take several nights and weekends away from you as a couple. Like our relationship childcare and my work schedule has to revolve around his schedule. I don't mind that because if I have to request time off it honestly saves us money. Even though I am not working and making money, we are also not spending money on a babysitter. Also with advising a campus wide organizations, weekend work comes around more often because they tend to do more programs and larger programs. Sometimes weekend work will span the course of several days. Sometimes it turns into days away from the house if you attend conferences. I will delve deeper into conferences in my next post because that is a whole subject on it's own.
The key to night and weekend work is to have something for yourself to do. There are shows that I like to watch but he doesn't, so I take nights he works as time to watch those shows, or movies he would rather not watch with me. For weekends it's me and the girls so it's pretty much about keeping them busy so the day passes quickly for all of us. With kids the nights and weekends can be difficult because the kids will question where daddy is want to know when he will be home and honestly the when he will be home part is always difficult to say. When kids are involved it's always best to keep them occupied so they don't notice the absence. Obviously it's great that they miss their father/mother, but it can wear on them so keeping them occupied so they don't notice is actually a good thing for them, as it keeps them moving and just gives them other things to think about.
So when you see some nights and weekends on the job description know that it is more often then you think or will anticipate, but it won't kill your relationship. Honestly sometimes, that time away will be good and just make the next time you see each other a good reunion. Don't get upset about a night here and a weekend there, it's all part of residence life and everyone experiences. Honestly you could be upset about that those night and weekends aren't extra pay. LOL. Take everything with a grain of salt and realize that everything your significant other does extra for his job can help his/her career in the long run when it comes to moving up in positions, getting to be able to collaborate on bigger projects and getting recognition. Show them some love and patients when it comes to their late hours and weekends at work.
Night and weekend work effect every relationship differently. If you both work during the day, having evenings and weekends off, having Res Life take a night or a weekend away from your time as a couple can be difficult. It definitely makes you have to carefully plan date nights, weekends away and any recreational activities you would possibly be engaging in. If your significant other advises a student group usually their meetings are one a week night only because that's usually the only time students can meet when it doesn't interfere with classes. If you are a hall director all your staff meetings, hall government meetings, programs and other like functions happen in the evening for the same reason, you want to have high attendance so you want to have all of those happening not during class hours.
If you are on duty nights and weekend work take on a whole new meaning. It means that phone will interrupt everything. Even those student programs you are organizing. I will not go into a rant about the duty phone. See previous post about duty phones for more thoughts on that subject.
If your significant other is an advisor or a campus wide student group like my husband it will take several nights and weekends away from you as a couple. Like our relationship childcare and my work schedule has to revolve around his schedule. I don't mind that because if I have to request time off it honestly saves us money. Even though I am not working and making money, we are also not spending money on a babysitter. Also with advising a campus wide organizations, weekend work comes around more often because they tend to do more programs and larger programs. Sometimes weekend work will span the course of several days. Sometimes it turns into days away from the house if you attend conferences. I will delve deeper into conferences in my next post because that is a whole subject on it's own.
The key to night and weekend work is to have something for yourself to do. There are shows that I like to watch but he doesn't, so I take nights he works as time to watch those shows, or movies he would rather not watch with me. For weekends it's me and the girls so it's pretty much about keeping them busy so the day passes quickly for all of us. With kids the nights and weekends can be difficult because the kids will question where daddy is want to know when he will be home and honestly the when he will be home part is always difficult to say. When kids are involved it's always best to keep them occupied so they don't notice the absence. Obviously it's great that they miss their father/mother, but it can wear on them so keeping them occupied so they don't notice is actually a good thing for them, as it keeps them moving and just gives them other things to think about.
So when you see some nights and weekends on the job description know that it is more often then you think or will anticipate, but it won't kill your relationship. Honestly sometimes, that time away will be good and just make the next time you see each other a good reunion. Don't get upset about a night here and a weekend there, it's all part of residence life and everyone experiences. Honestly you could be upset about that those night and weekends aren't extra pay. LOL. Take everything with a grain of salt and realize that everything your significant other does extra for his job can help his/her career in the long run when it comes to moving up in positions, getting to be able to collaborate on bigger projects and getting recognition. Show them some love and patients when it comes to their late hours and weekends at work.
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