The mouse misses him but takes over the whole bed. Everyone in student affairs will hopefully get an opportunity to go on a conference or two and depending on what your job is they will get to attend multiple conferences throughout the year.
There are several kinds of conferences. Professional development, recruiting/hiring and student conferences. My husband has had the opportunity to attend all three. With his current job because he is the advisor of a student group, three times a year for the last four going on five years he has been able to attend student conferences with a group of amazing students. One takes place in the fall, one in the late winter and one usually beginning of summer(end of the school year). The nice thing about his attendance at these conferences is that the student group and university cover all travel and registration expenses. Most universities will offer some kind of stipend to help cover costs. Not all universities do this and if you are unsure if your university offers this, don't hesitate to ask.
The hardest part of conferences is the time away from the family. Usually for a conference you or your significant other will be gone for probably at least four days, you have to figure in travel as two of those days. If they are going on their very first conference it will be a different experience for you both. Depending on your situation this might be the first time you have spend significant time apart and if you have a family the first time the kids have experienced a parent leaving for a length of time.
There are up and downs to having them go away for a length of time. I usually take over the whole bed when Casey is gone. Well I try and take over the whole bed but I find myself usually staying over on my side most of the time. It's also a time I get to watch all the tv shows and movies that I know he wouldn't want to watch with me. It seems dumb that it's a highlight of the time away, but I like certain movies that I know he wouldn't sit down and watch with me so I don't mind waiting until he is gone to watch them myself.
Since we have kids that's the hard part about conferences. When the kids are young, honestly they might not understand and really know that their mom/dad is gone. For the most part our one year old didn't even notice this past weekend that Casey was gone. She was happy to see him when he came home, but for the most part was unaware of this absence. As horrible as it sounds, it makes that time easier. You don't have to explain where daddy went, try and give a time frame of return. Now with our five year old she understands when daddy has to leave town for work. That was is a little harder because several times a day I have to listen to how much she misses daddy and the constant question of when will he be home. The best thing to do with kids is distract them and keep them as busy as possible so the time goes by really fast. Thankfully this last conference was over Halloween so distraction was built right in. Our town does a ton of things for Halloween so it was a matter of planning things out and finding as many of those activities to go to as we can.
Conferences over the winter are the hardest, especially with kids because it's not as easy to take them to the park or out of the house to keep them distracted. My suggestion would be to line up play dates with friends, find things that are going on in your town over that time that are family friendly that you can easily take the kids to.
Your first conference experience can be a little difficult especially if you have more then one kid because you need to makes sure that the whole time you are giving enough attention to both. For me I have found bedtime to be the hardest. While I do but the girls to bed myself through the year, it's the multiple days in a row that starts to get a little hectic, especially when the older one starts missing daddy and I think she just gets tired of mommy putting her to bed. Thankfully she can understand the concept of tomorrow and the day after tomorrow so it's easy for me to explain when daddy is coming home in terms of days.
For us going on a conference is just another time of the year because Casey has been going on conferences our whole relationship so we have gotten use to it. Although you never really get use to them leaving for any length of time and you always miss them, but it does get easier as you get into a routine of what you do while they are away. Obviously if they are going during the week you probably have your own routine of work, school and other obligations set, but if they are gone over a weekend that might take a little more planning to establish what you will do to occupy your time as well as your kids time.
One nice thing Casey has done for the girls, is every conference he attends he tries to bring back a shirt for each of the girls from the school the conference was at. We decided early on that it should be a tradition for him to bring them back a shirt and then when they turn 18, or whenever he stops attending conferences we will take of the shirts and cut them into quilt pieces and make each of the girls a quilt for them to have. It will be a great memento of all the conferences he went on and something the girls can keep forever. You don't have to do something like that, but honestly having something like that gives your significant other something to so special for your kids and gives your kids something to look forward to when they get back. Obviously if you don't have kids you could always bring back something for your significant other to have. Casey usually always tries to bring me back something as well. My hoodie collection has grew pretty nicely, as well as my collection of sweatpants.
Conferences are great for professional development and is a great experience for anyone in residence life and housing. You will make connections with people at other schools that could come in handy later in your career as well as make friendships with people. You will also learn the latest things in your field and ways to improve your career. Even though the idea of leaving for several days can be daunting, that shouldn't stop you from going. There will always be time to use the phone, and maybe depending on your level of technology you brought with, use Skype or FaceTime to communicate with your family, especially if you have kids.
Embrace the opportunities to go on conferences for both you career and your family. It's honestly good to get away and miss people for a little bit. Doing things to help your career will in turn help your family because you will be able to use those experiences to gain connections and job tools that could help you get a new job in the future. So don't get scared to go because you don't want to be away, embrace the opportunity as a good opportunity for you and your whole family.
